July 4th, 2010
The last couple of weeks I have been quite hard on myself. When I look in the mirror in shorts or in my bathing suit I really started to beat myself up over the way I look. Yes, I have accumulated a healthy (or not so) amount of cellulite on my ass and thighs and my stomach has more stretch marks and my arms are looking like two strings of cooked spaghetti. But if I compare my situation to a good number of women out there I really have no right to complain. I think that since this is the second time around I feel even more impatient with the process of getting it all back. Regardless, I am going to try to be kinder to myself. I would never say the harsh criticisms I am so easily dishing out to any of my friends… why am I saying these things to me? There is nothing constructive so I am attempting to fill my mind with kind words and compliments instead, and I encourage every woman, pregnant, post-, or not, to do so too.
This all stems from a week of hard dieting. I tried, and realized I am so not ready. I returned for 4 days to the Crossfit Zone lifestyle. I am a small female therefore was to consume 5 2-block meals in the day. In case you haven’t figured it out, this is not a lot of food. Long story short, I was OK the first day, and was sick for the following 3 with headaches, back pain, weakness, fatigue and finally said SCREW this. Nothing is worth this torture at this point in my ‘comeback’. I had no energy for my family nor myself. Lesson learned. Do not reduce your diet too much while breastfeeding or so soon after childbirth! Coincidentally, Jude’s character changed too. He cried a lot for the days when I was weakest, did not want to feed off me much, and he and I both broke out in a body rash as well. This was the biggest wake-up call of all.
Now I am eating much more, but still clean:
Breakfast – 1 egg, 3 whites omelet with a couple of handfuls of on-hand veggies
Meal 2 – 1 cup plain low-fat yogurt (or Greek) with ½ cup of fruit and a sprinkle of walnuts
Lunch – approx. 4-6 oz of chicken or fish and a big salad with various veggies and 1 tbsp of dressing
Meal 4 – celery stcks, cucumber sticks, sliced bell pepper with 1 tbsp of almond butter
Dinner – same as lunch just different protein – and maybe a ton of BBQ-ed vegetables since it’s summertime!
Dessert – 2-3 squares of 85% chocolate and ½ cup of berries or whatever fruit I feel like
Post-workout is where I will add my starchy carbohydrate like ½ cup of quinoa or just more fruit like mango or a banana.
I’m drinking a lot of water still but it was starting to bore me so I have brought back on one of my favorite bevies: unsweetened coconut water. I’ve been drinking a lot of sodium-free carbonated water too.
I know that a menu like this compliments my short but intense workouts that I do daily (but missed while I was sick). I’ve removed the little bites of food here and there and am sticking to just my meals. Feels good, and most importantly it feels like enough. This will probably be the way I eat until the completion of breastfeeding. After that transition is when I will re-evaluate all of my goals.